16 Feb Kang-a-Lang: Spoiler Free Quantumania Review

When I was in 4^th grade (this was in the 70s, by the way), Mrs. Kelly dedicated half an hour after lunch one day to a magic show by one of my classmates. Julie Brewer was an only child and had the kind of young, loving parents who threw her ingeniously-themed birthday parties that made every kid in attendance feel like it had been their own birthday. They had a kind of naïve, 1960s optimism that saw no downside to encouraging their precocious daughter to pursue such old-timey pastimes as yo-yo tricks and parlor magic. And to her credit, Julie was a whip-smart kid with a quiet confidence that made her extremely likable –even in a pair of pink, corduroy, Garanimals overalls.

In this era of Community Auditions and Doug Henning, none of the kids in Mrs. Kelly’s fourth grade class was really gullible enough to think they were witnessing real-life miracles, much less performed by a nine-year-old peer. But we all Ooohed and Aaahed at each turn and applauded our classmate as much for the gumption of getting up and performing in front of the class as for the so-called magic. But there’s one kid in every class who feels the need to assert their redundant superiority, and in our class of 38 students that kid was Gary Zerola. I shit you not: his last name started with “zero”.  And rather than sit and be entertained, he shouted out, “I know how you did that,” causing the rest of us to roll our eyes. As if any of us thought that Julie was Gandalf, Merlin, or Jesus Christ.

And now, more than four decades later, as I read the reviews of Ant-man and the Wasp: Quantumania, I am reminded that a small and vocal minority of the theater-going public still expects real magic. They forget that the chief aim of superhero cinema is to sell popcorn, sugar water and a two-hour escape from dull reality.  There is a cottage industry of social media influencers whose whole schtick revolves around MCU speculation, and as both a fan and speculator, I also occasionally get caught-up in the nit-picky nonsense of critiquing live-action cartoons.

I, too, sometimes forget that every single movie featuring special effects does so with a degree of believability forever tethered to the technology of the moment in which it was created. When Christopher Reeve flew on screen in 1978’s Superman he did so with the tagline, “You’ll believe a man can fly,” and we did believe it –for a while. But by 2023 the arms race of flawless special effects has been lost. The public is too sophisticated nowadays and there are too many Gary Zerolas focused on the minutiae and not on the momentum. Special effects once seen as incredible are now seen as quaint. The herky-jerky stop-motion of RKO’s King Kong is far less realistic than the giant CGI apes and lizards of Legendary Picture’s Monsterverse, but no less enjoyable.

Which is not to say that we should tolerate sub-par entertainment. Movie tickets aren’t $2.50 anymore and audiences have a reasonable expectation for a night out that can cost sixty bucks for two people once you factor the cost of assigned seats, snacks, beverages, and the price of gas to get there. But we need to measure these things in their own relative scope. Avengers: Endgame is the highest-grossing movie of all-time. To expect ANY film, regardless of genre, to meet that pinnacle is ludicrous; even (and maybe especially) an offshoot. If you had told any of the children in Mrs. Kelly’s classroom that by the time we were her age there would be not one, but three Ant-Man movies they’d have all given you a lesson in the limits of credulity.

That said, a film either succeeds or fails on the merit of the audience’s expectations. When Samuel Taylor Coleridge introduced the term “suspension of disbelief” back in 1817, he was suggesting that if a writer could infuse a “human interest and a semblance of truth” into a fantastic tale, the reader would suspend judgment concerning the implausibility of the narrative. To that end, is it even possible to overcome the implausibility of the MCU? I think it’s safe to say, “No,” but it is still possible to be entertained by it.

Ironically, the concepts that film critics find convoluted, confusing, or irredeemable (to their criteria of what cinema should be) are the elements of escapism that comic fans have tended to embrace wholeheartedly since Siegel and Shuster first drew an S on the chest of a man wearing a cape. And yet, the loudest detractors of superhero movies in recent years have been comic book readers. We were spoiled by that one-in-two-billion miracle that was the coda of the first ten years of the MCU. And we forgave lackluster entries along the way because in the bottom half of the last inning Captain America hit a goddamn homerun with Thor’s hammer, Tony Stark made the ultimate sacrifice with a finger snap, and millions of grown men wept tears of joy. We forget that it was a once in a lifetime match of the right actors in the right roles with the right lines at the right moments. We apparently expect that be to reproducible, and that impossible target relegates every attempt that follows as failure. That mindset actually belittles the rare genius of Endgame while also damning the future for that expansive wonder of a thing we all wanted for so long: superheroes; lots and lots of superheroes.

So, what are my thoughts on Ant-man and the Wasp: Quantumania?

It follows the well-established mold of third entries in the MCU insofar as it is arguably better but noticeably slower than its predecessors, with a more serious tone and higher stakes as a set-up film for a bigger forthcoming Avengers event. And if we’re being 100% honest with ourselves, that’s all anyone really wanted this to be. If we levy in its favor the incredible Jonathan Majors, who builds upon his introduction from Loki on Disney+ into the next big-bad of the MCU, we have success by any metric.

Add to that a believable break from the Bad Dad trope of virtually every other MCU franchise: Thanos? Bad Dad. Ego & Yondu? Bad Dads. Odin? Great King, not the best Dad. Black Panther and Iron Man? Multi-generational, Absentee Dads. High Evolutionary? Soon to be arriving Bad Dad. Paul Rudd is the perfect everyman actor, and so we believe that his ceaseless wanting to be a good dad is a less lofty than achievable goal–and that’s way less corny than it sounds.

The two post credit sequences, which I won’t spoil here, are both relevant to the continuing Kang narrative and might be worth the cost of admission, by themselves, but there are no groundbreaking reveals of Doctor Doom or the Fantastic Four as were rumored. With two of the last three MCU sequels (Doctor Strange & Thor) being mostly reviled, and the last film (Wakanda Forever) getting a somewhat lukewarm reception, Ant-man stands as a clear winner in a contest of diminished expectations, but as a popcorn movie it’s a legit success in its own right.

So why is the Rotten Tomatoes score so low?

That’s a good question, because if you actually read the full reviews that garnered the bright green splat, you’ll see that almost every review is more positive than it is negative. This leads me to believe that RT has changed its scoring metric because the film is still the Top Recommendation on the RT front page. How can a film with a score of 48% as I write this be the Top Recommendation in a week that features eight new releases with scores of 86% or better? If you read only that front page brief, it sounds more rave than rotten:

Finally hitting theaters is the third installment in the Ant-Man trilogy Marvel Studios’ Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, and there are a few not-so-tiny reasons why you might want to catch this one this weekend.

Jonathan Majors’ performance as Kang the Conqueror, the MCU’s next big bad, has everyone absolutely raving. Take this review from critic Rohan Patel of ComicBookMovie.com, who says:

“Jonathan Majors brings the heat, making a rapturous debut as Kang the Conqueror! A new dynasty has begun and it’s time to bear witness!”

Not only does this film kick off Phase 5 of the MCU, it sets up and leads into the next Avengers film, Phase 6’s Avengers: The Kang Dynasty, releasing in 2025. And speaking of set-ups, do not skip out on the two amazing post-credits scenes at the end of the film.

Confused?

It would be good to know what criteria contributes most to the Tomatometer, because that score suggests we are witnessing the inevitable result of post-pandemic superhero fatigue while the current Audience Score of 84% suggests overwhelming popular support.

In short I’d say that you can do a lot worse than see Quantumania. Sure, they could have gone straight to the credits after the final Quantum Realm scene, but otherwise I enjoyed the pacing. Majors is every bit as good as the consensus suggests, but where is the praise for Michael Douglas? I would also be remiss to not point out that Paul Rudd is given much more range here than in the prior two Ant-man films combined. M.O.D.O.K. is as jarringly weird-looking as he would be if you saw him in real life and a surprisingly integral scene-stealer. The plot gets going pretty quickly after catching us up on post-Endgame life for Scott Lang and co. and the final battle is thrilling in a way we haven’t seen since Spider-man: No Way Home. I’m not saying it’s THAT good, but it is very good.

I’d compare Quantumania more to Avatar than Star Wars, but there is a rebellion and an empire of sorts. David Dastmalian returns, but not as the character he played in the first two films –in fact, you may find yourself wondering what his role was even as the credits roll. I won’t spoil it, and you can check IMDB if you’re that curious about it, but there is something kind of meta about having the same actor who played Polka-Dot Man in The Suicide Squad deliver the line, “I have holes!”

If you are wondering why none of Scott’s ne’er-do-well BFFs from prior Ant-man outings appears on the poster, it’s because they’re not in this movie. Michael Peña fans will miss his excellent, speed-talking, comic relief, and his absence may have inspired some critics to note a lack of mirth, but there is still a very pronounced comic edge. I hold out hope that we’ll see Peña meet Awkwafina in a Shang-Chi crossover since both franchises are Bay Area based, but I’m probably going to have to wait for the Master of Kung Fu sequel. In the meantime, I should catch-up on the previous Ant-man and the Wasp film since I remember basically nothing about it or Ghost, who will be part of the upcoming Thunderbolts team.

But I’m waiting until Mandalorian Season 3 is here before I renew my Disney+ subscription.